Reflection

Not long after I started working on this project for class, I switched from testosterone injections to testosterone gel. Originally I started considering my weekly shots as a ritual to help with the anixety it caused me. It was an attempt to turn something I dreaded doing once a week into something I could find some sort of peace and calmness in. With life being as chaotic as it is, isn't that what religious ritual is for anyway? A way to create space for something calm and personal amidst a storm of crap? With the switch to testosterone gel, I no longer have this weekly ritual. I also no longer have anxiety every Monday, which I think outweighs everything else. Instead, taking hormones and taking care of my transness is part of my daily routine. While part of me does miss the performance I turned my injections into, another part of me feels so much better being able to look my transition in the eyes instead of looking at it through layers of metaphor and nerves.

Thank you so much for taking this journey with me! Have a Capri Sun for the road.

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